That's all it took tonight to make me sad. We were at the store. Buying milk. Luke saw the chocolate milk and asked for some. I said, "No, remember we only buy white for home and you get chocolate at Grandma's." He said - "NO MOM! - It's chocolate at Grandpa's! I can still call it Grandpa's house right?" Here's me crying at Kroger saying, "Yes, baby - you can still call it Grandpa's house." You see chocolate milk was my dad's special treat for the kids. Every weekend he would go to the store and buy a jug so that when my kids visisted he was stocked for them. It was a running joke that they only had "brown cows" in Vassar where my parents lived. I'll never ever hear, see, or think of Chocolate Milk without thinking of my dad. And I don't think Luke will either.
So tonight while putting Rachel to sleep a thought crossed my mind that I hadn't considered before. For those of you who know me well, you know how special my Grandfather was to me. He died in 2001. Before my kids were born. But here's the thing....he didn't become my Grandfather until I was 3 (when he married my Grandma). And he was more of a GRANDpa than any biological grandfather I had. So the thought came to me that is this what God intends for my children too? While I cannot even stomach the thought of my mom with anyone else....I am sure that time will allow me to accept that concept if it occurs. I want my mom to be happy so when she is ready I will support her. And knowing how blessed we were with Grandpa Sova in our lives, makes me realize I need to be open to the possibility of someone special like that coming into our lives.