Had a great weekend. Then today. Rachel has croup. Gram is on hospice now :( Not doing well. She's given up. My PDA screen is shot. Which means access to my checkbook. :( I am a nervous wreck about work tomorrow - first day of Electronic Medical Record.
Plus I am PMSing. And now Brothers and Sisters is on and I think Justin is going to die and I may just lose it and end up in the fetal position.
]]>Mom called tonight and wanted to know if Vernon would wear some of Dad's shirts. She is trying to pack some of them up. It's such a double edged sword. When Grandpa died Gram gave Vernon some of his things and it was comforting to see him wearing them and remember Grandpa....I don't know if I am ready for that yet though with Dad. I just don't know. I feel guilty when I don't think about him and feel ok. Then I think about him and can't stop crying because I realize it's been a while (hours) since I thought about him and I feel guilty. So I cry more. Sometimes I feel like I can't catch my breath it hurts so badly. I feel like my heart is being ripped from my chest. There's so many things this spring that Dad will miss. Luke's tee-ball. Rach's entertaining.
Counseling appointment is Wednesday. I hope it helps me.
Well...I like Fridays too BUT damnit I would like to start a petition to get January wiped from the calendar. I am SOOOO glad it's finally February. I guess the bad stuff started happening in January 01. My Grandpa died. Then January 05 - My aunt died. And a good high school friend's father. Now this January my Dad died, my cousin's husband has a heart attack, my Great Aunt moves to Colorado after her stroke, and my Grandma is very ill (on top of stressed and depressed). So I really can't say I am sad to see January go. I hope February brings some positive things in our lives.
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